William Cheswick did early work on firewalls, honeypots and backscatter at Bell Labs. Cheswick coined the words "proxy" and "jail" in their current Internet context. He co-authored the first full book on firewalls, which helped train the first wave of Internet security experts. He also explored network discovery and visualization, producing famous maps of the Internet and co-founding Lumeta Corp. He continued at AT&T Shannon Lab, generating product ideas and a number of patents, including a new kind of movie and a new way to see a movie. He has never mounted a sophisticated cyber attack, nor has he been cleared for official training. The observations here come from twenty years of evil thoughts and pondering offensive cyber activities.